I was in the last phase of what I call “dating a board prospect.”
I had been cultivating Dan’s interest and engagement in the ministry I led for
about 18 months. Dan was also a good
friend—but good friends don’t always make good board members.
So over dinner with Dan, and his wife, I’m ready to make the big
ask—would he be open to serving on our board, if the Nominating Committee
recommended him to the board?
Good news: Dan was willing to serve.
More good news: Dan’s wife affirmed his passion for the
ministry.
“One last question, Dan.” I paused to be sure he would take time
to think about it.
“We’re good friends. But it would be important to me that, if needed,
in extenuating circumstances, the board had to fire me…”
Clearly, I was moving too slow for Dan and he didn’t even wait
for me to finish my sentence, which would have been, “…if the board had to fire
me, could you do that, irrespective of our friendship?”
As I said, Dan interrupted me half-way through my monologue:
“Could I fire you, John?
No problem!”
I laughed. He laughed. And all was well.
One of more than 400 “Rumsfeld Rules,” penned or borrowed by
Donald Rumsfeld, reads:
“Never hire anyone
you can’t fire.”
Perhaps we need another rule: “Never recruit a friend to your
board who values friendship more than doing the right thing.”
“Most of us are unknowingly selfish when it comes to
friendship,” say Jerry and Mary White in their new book, To Be a Friend: Building Deep and Lasting Relationships. In their chapter on “Virtuous
Friendship,” they pose an excellent discussion question: “[Discuss] the
instances in which you have practiced virtuous friendship or been the recipient
of a virtuous friendship.”
Should board members and CEOs invite close friends to serve with
them on a ministry board? I can’t answer
that for you—but a virtuous, God-honoring friendship should be able to handle
board work. Certainly many acquaintances
over the years have become close friends—as a result of the joys and turmoil of
board service.
My response: No problem!
QUESTION: What
are the upsides and downsides of inviting close friends to serve with you on a board
of directors?
