The Language of Christmas Gifting

What’s an appropriate gift for board members to give their CEOs at Christmas? Should the CEO thank the board chair with a special Christmas gift? What kind of gift would all board members appreciate?

Caution! One size doesn’t fit all!

A few years ago, while facilitating a “360 annual review” of a ministry’s CEO, I asked the executive committee, “What is your CEO’s love language?”

You’ve probably read Gary Chapman’s bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages (more than 11 million copies sold). He reminds us that one size doesn’t fit all when he describes the five love languages:

     Receiving Gifts

     Acts of Service

     Words of Affirmation

     Physical Touch

     Quality Time

  

The problem: we tend to love others in the language we prefer. So if my love language is “Receiving Gifts,” I erroneously assume that my spouse, my grandkids—and fellow board members—all prefer receiving gifts, instead of (for example) acts of service. Wrong!

Back to my story…the executive committee had a helpful discussion on their CEO’s preferred love language—and it heightened their awareness of how to bless their leader.

Likewise, CEOs must become students of their board chairs and their board members. One generic Christmas gift—one love language—won’t cut it. Thoughtful gifts take time and creativity.

Boards Chairs and Board Members: for more on this, read “Nice Farewell Dinner, But Where’s My Plaque?” about a well-meaning board that didn’t know their CEO’s love language.

CEOs: for a creative way to express appreciation, read “Forget the Plaques!” about a very meaningful gift given to a retiring board chair.

I hope you will receive at least one Christmas gift this year in your preferred love language! And this reminder: the Gospels are filled with creative and amazing ways Jesus customized his message in the love language of every person he met. Amazing encounters!

QUESTION: At your next board meeting, ask each board member, “What is your love language?”

What If…Every Board Member Wrote 5 Thank You Notes?

On a coaching call with a leader recently, he astounded me with his teachable spirit—and his pedal-to-the-metal approach to my recommendations.

I had suggested he read the powerful and convicting book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: Discover the 20 Workplace Habits You Need to Break, by Marshall Goldsmith with Mark Reiter. 

He’s reading it! But…he stopped on page 159. “Why?” I asked.

He responded, “because the author suggests we think about the people who are most responsible for our success.” Then the author adds, ‘Write down the first 25 names that come to mind.’ And then ask, ‘Have I ever told them how grateful I am for their help?’”

The author’s command: Before turning the page and reading the next chapter, start writing those 25 thank you notes!

I was on the phone with this leader, but if I’d been in the same office with him, I would have whipped out a Starbucks gift card—with warm affirmation for his heart and his actions. And just imagine—the heartfelt response he’ll receive in the days ahead from the 25 people who receive those notes.

I know you know what’s coming next!

At your next board meeting, bring notecards, envelopes and stamps—and ask every board member to write five or more thank you notes—on the spot—to the people that are responsible for the success of your ministry. (Your CEO can have names and addresses ready, if needed.) Who are the people that should be thanked?
   • Former board members
   • Former CEOs and staff
   • Donors (both major donors and faithful month-every-month donors)
   • Volunteers
   • Your friends in the media
   • Government officials who care about your work
   • Pastors and supporting churches
   • Who else?

Goldsmith adds, “This isn’t just an exercise in making yourself and other people feel good (although that’s a worthwhile therapeutic). Writing a thank you note forces you to confront the humbling fact that you have not achieved your success alone. You had help along the way.”

Richard Kriegbaum writes in Leadership Prayers that “the board of the organization is not just the ultimate legal entity; it is also the ultimate means of God’s grace and blessing on the organization.” And I would add, when the board, in turn, blesses your organization’s stakeholders, it will have profound meaning and Kingdom impact!

QUESTION: Is expressing gratitude and appreciation part of your board’s culture? Would this exercise help or enhance that heart?